My experiences in college thus far...

I became a college freshman officially as of three weeks ago today. I must say that these three weeks have gone by incredibly fast. I am almost done with my third week of classes! Wow! Time sure does fly. I am taking a 17 hour courseload along with weekly violin lessons. Unfortunately my course load leaves me little time to do much besides homework and the frequent run across the street to the dining hall to make sure I'm using all of my meals, which still seems impossible, so at this point I will probably have to drop the lessons and just stick to what I have. Ah for shame! I have played the violin since sixth grade and I feel that if I do stop with my lessons then I may stop playing all together. We'll see what happens.

I have wanted to be in college since I was a sophomore in high school. I had to wait for another two years before my wishes were granted. Don't get me wrong, I love college, but at the same time I think my expectations for it may have been a bit off. I guess that when I envisioned myself in college I thought for some reason that it would be all fun all the time. This is not so as I have quickly learned. Even so, I would not trade this experience for the world. College is truly a character shaping experience. It forces me out of the boxed in world that I have been in to this point, it forces me to learn self-discipline as I cope with managing basically my whole life without my parents, it forces me to confront previously undiscovered or downplayed flaws. In my own case I believe that God wants to use this new college experience as a way to help me develop in various ways that involve all areas of my life: academic, social, spiritual, emotional, etc.

Unlike many people who go off to college, God blessed me by allowing me to go to college with some of my closest friends whom I love dearly. However, this blessing can at times be a disadvantage. With close friends nearby I have constantly been tempted to be complacent and not put myself out there to make completely new friends. I find myself not wanting to do anything outside of my inner circle of friends, not wanting to be outside my comfort zone. I know that I need to overcome this psychological handicap, if you want to call it that. College is about expanding horizons: the world is so much bigger outside of home and family. If I do not embrace this fact then what have I gained? Nothing at all! In addition, when I am outside of my inner circle, I realize that I am an incredibly insecure person, that I constantly am in need of the approval of others. I am convinced that this is a part of being human and personally I think that it is something people do not like to talk about. Not confronting the problem directly only makes it worse. Pent up thoughts and feelings and anger only add to the stress, but if they can be let out constructively then I believe that the venting makes for a healthier disposition.
My purpose with this blog is to express such thoughts and feelings and sometimes angers about...well...I guess life in general.
Until next time :D